Frustration gets the best of me.

As I finally start to ETS out of the Army with orders in hand, I never knew it was going to be this bad.  Not to mention I'm pregnant so I can't carry anything heavy and if I even lift a notebook I can't breathe.  I got out of my apartment lease which is a relief.  I was only there a month which I'm glad because there were nights I didn't think I would wake up in the morning.  I had to lock not only the front door but my bedroom door as well.  Good thing I sleep like a bag of shit.

So I never thought I was able to sweat as much as I have been.  I sweat even when it's 30 degrees outside.  Bending over making me lose my breathe.  Pregnancy really kicks my ass.  I wanted five kids before I got pregnant.  Now it's changed to 3... with at least 3 years in between this one and another.  Many of Travis's friends have deployed within the past week.  I am so glad Travis didn't leave.  I don't know who else I would complain about my life to.  I am not quite sure what I really have to complain about.  I'm married to a guy that is usually pretty nice to me and when he's not he just leaves me alone.  I'm expecting a little girl in 16 weeks.  I have a job that gives me a decent paycheck.  Maybe it's the lack of friends I have.  But you have to admit, most females in the military are cough cough.  But still I complain.  Maybe its because I have always complained that I feel like when I'm happy I still cannot stop.  Good thing my husband puts things into perspective for me. 

For now, life is crazy for me.  I have a daily schedule written out and if its not done at the perspective time... it causes a whole different set of problems because I get so frustrated.  On Wednesday, I go to Duke University to see my hip doctor.  Hopefully they can help with my sleep problems.  Pregnany makes you sleep on left or right side, the left is preffered.  But with my hips I have always slept on my back or stomach.  Again, a different set of problems.  Also, I am that person to search on google for 3 hours about the same thing until I see the same answer to my question at least 10 times.  I am a fierce googler! 

Now if I could just breathe and get it together.  I usually run around like a chicken with my head cut off but after being this pregnant I would rather sit in a chair and sleep with a fan blowing right in my face.  Work still needs to be done but I can't find the energy to move.

This weekend I'm going to paint pottery again WHICH WAS PROBABLY THE COOLEST THING EVER!!  Hopefully my husband will tag alone with me but I'm sure I am too much for him to deal with right now.

So for now... clear the army, move out of my apartment, go on terminal leave, decorate baby's room, lay around and do close to nothing for 33 days... then sign up for college classes and wait for my daughter to arrive.  Then after she comes, Travis deploys...I move to back to New York.... and I am officially frustrated all over again... grrrr